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Monday, May 31, 2004

Red bean popsicle...mmm mmm good

Red bean popsicles were on sale at T&T today! 2 boxes (of six) for $7.99. I can't figure out why this delictable treat hasn't taken off in Canada yet. How can anyone not like this stuff? Don't think I can really describe the taste if you haven't had it before, but do try it if you ever get the chance. Oh, and I also found a Shrek PEZ dispenser there today that I'll add to my collection. That's two great finds in one afternoon. Almost makes the battle for a parking spot worthwhile.

Box of red bean popsicles and my brand new PEZ dispenser

Your Favorite Jerk

Saturday, May 29, 2004


These things happen.

Your Favorite Jerk

Friday, May 28, 2004

Vietnamese samurai

There is no substitute for Fridays. The feeling that comes with knowing the battle is nearing its end is indescribable. There is something primal and very cavemanesque about throwing down your flint knife and going home for some well-deserved rest at the end of a long battle with a wooly-mamoth. Although in my case, you'll have to replace 'throwing down flint knife' with typing 'shutdown -h now' at the command prompt; and there is no wooly-mamoth, only lines and lines of computer code in my daily battles. But still, Friday brings out Primal Dave and Primal Dave likes to eat primal meals.

Where can you get a meal more primal than at the Samurai Sushi House on Cambie St? No one (except maybe the Japanese) can make sushi like the Vietnamese. Forget the culinary art of balancing texture and taste through delicate food preparation. These guys just make sushi really BIG. I respect the Japanese culinary arts as much as the next guy, but when I'm forknig over $6.90 for a Friday lunch, I want QUANTITY and these chatty sushi gurus give me just that. We're talking Alaska rolls the size of your fist. So big, you'll have to take the things apart with your disposable chopsticks before they'll fit in your mouth. Primal Dave like this and this is why Primal Dave goes to visit the Vietnamese Samurai every Friday.

Next time I'll snap some pics. But to truly appreciate the size of the sushi I may have to place the Alaska roll pieces next to a '89 Pontiac Grand Am to convey their sheer magnitude.

Your Favorite Jerk

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Size does matter

I called the guys at Multiple Electronics yesterday and they've informed me that the digicam I've been waiting for will soon arrive! Here's a pic of what the little guy looks like:

Pentax Optio S4i

When I say this guy is little, I mean it is LITTLE, measuring 83 (W) x 52 (H) x 20.5 (D) mm. Ah the Japanese...what can't they make smaller? In the coming days I will prepare myself for the inevitable Battle Royale I will have to go through to bargain for this camera.

Shopping at a Chinese electronics store

Multiple Electronics is not Future Shop. The first thing you'll notice when you walk into their store on Victoria Drive is that the store and all its wares are behind a security system that rivals that of Fort Knox. Browsing is not encouraged; in fact, you must first ring the doorbell and pass some cursory visual inspection before you will be let into the store. So if you're in the habit of wearing a skimask while browsing expensive electronics, you should probably shop elsewhere.

Once your face has been deemed sufficiently non-hostile and your intentions honorable, you will be allowed to enter the store where you will be treated to the friendly yet suspicious glares of the sales staff. It is at this point that you will realize that all the prices in this store have a thick red line running across them. This is to indicate that bargaining is encouraged (and, in fact, mandatory) when shopping at the store.

Whatever you do, do NOT let on that you have no idea what you want to purchase. If you want to ask a salesperson why model A is better than model B...go to Future Shop. Any sign of uncertainty will be perceived as a weakness by the salestaff and this will hurt you in the 'Negotiation Stage'. Do your homework online, walk into the store and head straight for that item. Once you've found it, give the salesperson a quick nod of the head, making sure you don't speak a word.

Like all salespeople, he/she will give you a brief introduction of the product and compliment you on your brilliant selection. This is just a cheap ploy to cloud your mind; simply wave them off with a gesture that suggests both boredom and contempt for their pathetic efforts. This will show them that you mean business.

Say this and only this: "This is too expensive. Make it cheaper." To which he/she will reply "but this is the retail price". Here is where you scoff at their insolence and pretend to walk out the door. Again, a quick wave of the hand to indicate contempt will work nicely. The short stocky manager will then walk over and offer you the real price (generally 10% off retail). If you are a strong man, here is where you start bargaining for acccessories to be thrown in. Generally, you should expect at least a carrying case.

This then concludes the Chinese electronics shopping experience.

Your Favorite Jerk

My favorite Chinese restaurant

I went to dinner at Kirin in City Square tonight! This is by far the best Chinese restaurant in Vancouver I think. The food's awesome, the service is great and the place is really clean for a Chinese restaurant and it even has a nice view of downtown :-)

I've attached some pictures I took tonight of the food...hope you ate before looking at this post. Bon appetite.

Pork in some kind of salt and pepper laced batter

Crispy BBQ duck skin to be eaten in a wrap with oyster sauce

Spicey crab...couldn't eat but it looked good

Your favorite jerk

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Queuing me softly

All my jobs have been submitted to the "queue" now. But since I don't have priority on the cluster farm (a whole bunch of computers hooked up together), I'm left to wait for other people's jobs to finish before I can get some computer time. But, of course, I need to finish these jobs before I can leave tonight...I love my job. So now I play the waiting game. Oh yeah, this post has been made by email; I wonder if it'll actually work.

Your Favorite Jerk

Oprah's book club this is not

I've started reading again thanks to the wonders of contacts which allow me to read without excessive eye fatigue! Right now I'm reading Haroun and the Sea of Stories by Salman Rushdie. Only have way through it right now, so you'll have to wait a while for the book report :-) Weather sucks today...very fitting for the day after a long weekend.

Your Favorite Jerk

Monday, May 24, 2004

The two-dollar 100-yen store

Daiso (n): A store for gullible Chinese people to purchase useless Japanese products that were made by Chinese people.

I must say the new Aberdeen Centre looks pretty nice, but its centrepiece -- the Daiso Japanese Twoonie Store -- is a big disappointment. Why anyone would fight with huge crowds of people for a chance to purchase a pair of chopsticks for $2 is beyond me. Besides, isn't Daiso the world-renowned 100 Yen store in Japan? Last time I checked $2 CDN equals rougly 160 Yen. Man, do these Japanese people think we're idiots on this side of the Pacific? That's a 60% markup we're being subjected to!

Now for a completely different subject. A couple of days ago, I got to use my mom's meat cleavers! I won't go into too much reason for why I had to use it but man was it ever fun! I think I've finally figured out why Chinese people always prefer to make ground beef at home. Man, when you've got two meat cleavers in your hands and you're whacking away at a hunk of meat, everything that was bothering you five minutes before just disappears. Maybe I can start some sort of butchershop therapy thing. This is patent pending stuff, so don't you dare spread the word around Dear Readers.

That just about does it for this episode, tune it next time for more pointless drivel.

Your Favorite Jerk

Sunday, May 23, 2004

Of cows and men

I just came back from the rodeo! I must say, this was by far the BEST rodeo I have ever been to. Okay, a little disclaimer: this is the ONLY rodeo I've ever been to. But still, it was fun. The rodeo shows themselves weren't too compelling. Afterall, how many ways can you rope a cow? Once you've seen one cow get roped, you've pretty much seen them all. And true, some of the events were a little strange (some might even say cruel). For instance there was one event which I've dubbed the 'rope and grope' that involves roping a cow, jumping on her, and milking her. The winner is, of course, the cowboy who gets a certain amount of milk before all the other cowboys have finished groping their own newly roped cows.

Besides the official "events", there was plenty to do at the fairgrounds, which can be best described as the PNE, except a bit smaller, a tad more rundown, and far more tacky with cowboy hats and big buckles galore. In short, the fairground was nothing to write home or blog about.

Your Favorite Jerk

Saturday, May 22, 2004

Step 1 of 12

The Jerk has always posted in the third person. But he has started the 12 step program to become less of a jerk. Step 1 entails the recognition of his problem. So here it goes:

I am the Jerk.

Henceforth, this blog will be posted in the first person. More to follow...stay tuned.

Your favorite jerk

Friday, May 21, 2004

It's finally hit the fan

The Jerk is not lazy, but he does try to avoid unpleasant work whenever possible. Problem, of course, is that being a fulltime employee of a research lab, he is paid to work whether or not he finds it pleasant. Recently, the Jerk has been dodging a particularly monotonous and wretched project. This avoidance was made possible in large part by a server outage problem that gave the Jerk a legitimate reason to work on something else. However, Your Favorite Jerk was informed yesterday that the diligent IT people in charge of that particular server have managed to bring it back online again. After a brief moment of muttering (the contents of which the Jerk will not disclose for fear of soiling the unspoiled ears of his Gentle Readers), the Jerk was forced to face the dreaded project. This morning the Jerk's superior requested a progress report. Two minutes ago, the Jerk was frantically trying to get something done to impress said superior. One minute ago, the Jerk decided to blog. In another minute he will return to work. Thus ends today's story from the Jerk.

Your Favorite Reformed Jerk

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Ici, Radio Shanghai?

Your favorite jerk would like to disclose a music secret. Every morning when he gets to work, the jerk likes to slap on his favorite pair of headphones (Sennheiser px200...very decent headphones) and listen to an internet radio station based in Shanghai. This station plays an ecletic mix of music ranging from sappy canto/mandarin pop to Mozart to 80's hits to classical Chinese music...with the erhu and everything. Your favorite jerk enjoys the randomness of the music and is not afraid to try something new.

This morning's program was 80's galore. Having never tried listening to Bon Jovi and Gloria Gaynor at work before, your favorite jerk was pleasantly surprised by the positive effect 80's music had on his productivity.

The jerk would like to end his blogging for today by thanking his loyal readership (of one?) for their (her?) continued patronage.

Your Favorite Jerk,

The Jerk has moved

Your Favorite Jerk has moved from his old Xanga ghetto. This new place is so much nicer and is a far more fitting home for the Jerk. Check here for more pathetic ramblings in the future.

Your Favorite Reformed Jerk,

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

To infinity and beyond...and a little to the right

One divided by zero equals infinity!!! It is with great pleasure that this jerk would like to announce that his loyal readership has increased infinitely since yesterday. This morning has proven puzzling...the jerk's inbox is empty...not even a single spam message since yesterday. Strange. Now, your favorite jerk wonders how come everytime he actually want to purchase discount valium and get a cut-rate mortgage or a degree from an unaccredited university, no one offers him one? Back to work.

Your fav jerk

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Cheap gas, cheap music

So this morning I get cheap gas (89.9 is cheap now...WHAT?) and I get to work with almost all green lights. An older song I liked was playing on the radio, so I decide to shut the engine off and just listen for a bit. I get out of the car feeling pretty good and then...BAM! I notice this 4" long scratch on the side of my car.

Now your favorite Jerk would like to ask: Why would someone scratch a car that is almost 10 years old?!?!??!?! If you have some kind of mental condition that makes you hate the possessions of others, at least pick a more valuable car to scratch. You will get more satisfaction out of having maximized the damage you can cause AND the owner would likely be able to afford it.

As it stands, all I can do is blog this anger out of my system. Oh yeah, I'm also giving a talk this afternoon...on what I still don't know...we'll see what happens.

Your favorite Jerk,

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

The start of something vague

Have I finally succumbed to the blog? Will I go the path of many a gibbering fool who being so wrapped up in his own pathetic world believes that his empty ramblings are worthy of a loyal readership from others even more pathetic than him? I guess so And if you're reading this...well sucks to be you.