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Monday, April 02, 2007

Encounter with the Good Feathers

You know who has no respect for man and his dominion over all creatures large and small? Pidgeons! In fact, one of these vile winged rodents had the audacity to hit me on the side of the head today as I crossed the street at the intersection of Yonge and Carlton. At first I thought I had upset a homeless guy and was on the receiving end of a hobo urine bag. But just as I turned my head to see my assailant, I heard the unmistakable flapping that only a pair dirty of wings belonging to a city dwelling pidgeon can make. In hindsight, I'm not sure which would have been worse, the bird or the bag of urine. The latter would have been more emotionally traumatizing, but at least urine is sterile. I'm afraid I can't be so sure about the bird-beast. My only consolation is that at least it flew away with enough vigor to discount the possibility that it was infected with bird flu. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wash my hair.

Your Favorite Jerk

8 Comments:

At Monday, April 02, 2007 10:38:00 PM, Blogger tiffany said...

this is why i don't like pigeons.
[shudder]

so... guess who's not comin' to visit you until you're officially declared louse-free? :p

 
At Monday, April 02, 2007 11:29:00 PM, Blogger divine_conspiracy said...

bleaaagggghhhhhhhh!!!!! yuck yuck yuck!

 
At Tuesday, April 03, 2007 4:59:00 PM, Blogger Reformed Jerk said...

Yuck indeed.

 
At Tuesday, April 03, 2007 6:59:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What did you do to the bird to warrent that kind of treatment?
Dawn

 
At Thursday, April 05, 2007 3:43:00 AM, Anonymous Vivs said...

hahahaha... i had a 'pidgeon' experience right in front of my benji kids. i sympathize with the ick factor, but at least you didn't have a group of kids going *gasp* WHAT WAS/IS THAT?

 
At Saturday, April 07, 2007 6:25:00 PM, Blogger giz said...

ahahahahahaahahahahahaa

 
At Monday, April 23, 2007 7:45:00 PM, Blogger Jonathan said...

My dad told me a story once a/b his university roomate. When he went home one day, he found that the curtains had been drawn back and the house was pitch black. There was also a funny smell in the air. Turns out his roommate caught, butchered and stewed a pigeon he caught on the fire escape. Ha!

 
At Thursday, July 23, 2009 2:16:00 AM, Anonymous Bird of paradise said...

Hmmm PESTO has eyes that are of different colors like DIZZY DEVIL from TINY TOONS and SQUIT is often the victim of pestos pigeon rage and bobby keeps them inline with the GODPIGEON and remeber the incedent with the sparrows

 

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