Encounter with the Good Feathers
You know who has no respect for man and his dominion over all creatures large and small? Pidgeons! In fact, one of these vile winged rodents had the audacity to hit me on the side of the head today as I crossed the street at the intersection of Yonge and Carlton. At first I thought I had upset a homeless guy and was on the receiving end of a hobo urine bag. But just as I turned my head to see my assailant, I heard the unmistakable flapping that only a pair dirty of wings belonging to a city dwelling pidgeon can make. In hindsight, I'm not sure which would have been worse, the bird or the bag of urine. The latter would have been more emotionally traumatizing, but at least urine is sterile. I'm afraid I can't be so sure about the bird-beast. My only consolation is that at least it flew away with enough vigor to discount the possibility that it was infected with bird flu. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wash my hair.
Your Favorite Jerk