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Monday, June 20, 2005

Hammer time

Nothing cures frustration and general malaise like taking hammer to wood. I came home from a less than stellar afternoon walk yesterday and decided to apply this aphorism to ease my tension and vent my frustrations. My newly-purchased bookshelf has been sitting half-assembled since last week, needing a faux-wood, cardboard backing to be complete. I set out to hammer it in place, but alas, I did not own a hammer; and front desk refused to lend me one, having come to the conclusion that such an implement could not be used for any legitimate, non-destructive purpose by student residents. In a fit of pique, I picked up a screw driver and started my hammering using its handle as a makeshift hammerhead--I suppose the old adage that "when you've got a hammer, everything looks like a nail" workes vice versa as well.

My sorry exercise in tool substitution has led me to conclude that there is a reason why Home Depot sells both tools without compromise. The roundness of the scredriver's handle made hammering with it a very difficult task, and bruised both my pride and my thumb. The end product of 30 minutes of banging and shouting nonsensical expletives in an imaginary language was the most terrible looking bookshelf ever assembled by any creature with an opposable thumb. I finished my "home-improvement" project more frustrated than before I started. BRAKAHMESH!!!!! (that means something very terrible in my imaginary angry-apeman language).

Your Favorite Jerk


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