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Thursday, August 10, 2006

Pithy movie reviews

I recently signed up with for unlimited DVDs, so I anticipate a movie binge coming. In an effort to share my admittedly unimportant opinion, I will use this humble blog to offer pithy reviews of all the movies I watch. Watch this space for suggestions on movies to watch and movies avoid.

Little Miss Sunshine (5/5)
Brilliant. This movie is without a doubt the best I've seen all year. Don't read the reviews or synopsis because they will fail to convince you to see it. I know I wouldn't have gone if the tickets weren't free, but I'm very glad I did. I cried in sorrow when the most likeable character died mid way through the film, and just moments later I cried even harder in laughter as the family attempted to abscond with his body in their malfunctioning VW Omnibus. Truly a gem that held my attention for the whole two hours.

Flowers of Shanghai (1/5)
Garbage. Set in late 19th century Shanghai, this movie paints a picture of life in the upper crust brothels of that era. Like many other Tony Leung Chiu-Wai movies, this one is a bore from beginning till end. The critics, of course, love it for the same reason hardcore chocolate aficionados love 99% dark chocolate even though it tastes like chalk: it guarantees that they can voice an opinion contrary to the popular one, elevating them above the masses. For the rest of us, this movie is slow-torture. Worse still, all the dialogue is in Shanghainese, but many of the actors are from HK. Listening to native Cantonese speakers struggle through their lines in a vastly different tongue is terribly grating. For those who understand Shanghainese, Flowers of Shanghai is best watched with the English subtitles on and the audio off.

V for Vendetta (2/5)
Trash. This was a great movie to try out my new THX-certified 5.1 surround sound system, but the same could probably be said about Battlefield Earth. While it may be true that one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter, even Che Guevara would have been difficult to like if he spoke with the same pretentious verbosity as the protagonist of this movie. Save yourself the time and money and go watch something else. If you must watch a masked man dispatch hapless underlings, try Zorro--at least Antonio Banderas can keep contrived alliterations to a minimum.

Your Favorite Jerk


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