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Thursday, March 09, 2006

Moving somewhere

I'm going to be moving slightly north of my current place of residence in June. Yesterday I went to see it and it seems like a very spacious and clean bachelor at 420 sqft. I think the place I grew up in Shanghai was about 350 sqft and it housed three generations (me, my parents, and my grandma) quite comfortably for many years. Right now, I'm very relieved that I got a place at all and I'm doubly thankful that it's so close to where I work and has all the amenities I had wanted at a reasonable price. Let me know if you can help me move in June; I promise I'll buy a few cases of two-fours to help make it a memorable afternoon!

Elsewhere, I'm a bit stressed about my pre-reclass meeting a week from next Monday. On the bright side, I should get some valuable--albeit direct and possibly critical--feedback on my project, which should paint a clearer picture of where I'll be in the next few years. In any case, I have a one year lease--as well as other..."stuff"--that will bind me to this city for yet a while longer. Let's hope for mild winters and smooth committee meetings.

On a completely unrelated note, I really think I've neglected to build up meaningful friendships with other guys since I've moved to this city. I attribute some part of this negligence to simple laziness and a lack of desire to build strong ties to people in this city last year when I thought my stay here would be very temporary. It was easier just to talk with people I trusted and felt comfortable back home on the phone and on MSN. But lately, I'm starting to feel a sort of isolation here. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that nothing beyond superficial friendships has blossomed here; afterall, you reap what you sow, and in the last year and a half I've sowed very few seeds and sowed them in woefully shallow soil. Maybe I should pick some male-bonding skills, like binge drinking or something equally masculine. On second thought, maybe not :-)

I should probably end off on a less melancholy note, but I think I rather enjoy this bit of auto-psychoanalysis; so please bear with me a little longer while I indulge this whim and talk more about myself to myself to figure out why I've not made any edifying friendships here. You see, it's not that I don't like people; I do. And it's not that I'm callous, antisocial, or insensitive; I'm not, though I will allow that at times my penchant for deadpanning may lead others to think I'm as all three and worse. The real problem is that I find it very difficult to open up to other guys (save for the occasional welcome exception like the Theological Toddler). I find it much harder to talk about my misgivings, my weaknesses, and my failures with other guys than with girls, whose genetic makeup, I find, predisposes them to deal with other people's problems with more grace and empathy. But something tells me this sort of bias isn't entirely healthy. Once in a while, it might be beneficial to hear another guy tell me that he's going through the same problems and is faced with the same difficult choices and decisions. Now all I have to do is find someone in Toronto who'll fit that bill--call now, operators are standing by.

Your Favorite Jerk


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