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Friday, May 20, 2005

Letter of complaint

Dear Burger King:

Please stop offering prizes of apple turnovers in your Star Wars BK combos if your restaurants don't actually carry this product. I find this practice deceptive and very undelicious. Please rectify this situation immediately and send one (1) apple turnover to 89 Chestnut St., Toronto ON. Your attention to this grave oversight is appreciated.

Yours truly,

Your Jabba the Hut water squirters have atrociously poor range and do not provide 'hours of summer fun' as your advertisements suggest. Furthermore, I question this toy's purported abilities to cause choking among small, annoying children. Please remove this item from your restaurants until these complaints are addressed.


At Sunday, May 22, 2005 10:36:00 AM, Blogger arts_guy said...

Dear Jerk,

We've shrunk the size of the Jabba the Hutt squirter. Unfortunately this has translated into a 25% decrease in the range and water carrying capacity. The toy though will now choke most children between the ages of two to six. Except the really really fat ones, and they'll die soon enough anyway. We here at Burger King take our customer's concerns seriously and we are glad we can be of assistance.

Sincerely yours,

Ed T. Bossman
Burger King, Public Relations


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