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Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Day after tomorrow...yesterday

I must admit I felt a bit guilty as I watched the demise of the world unfold before my eyes last night at the Silvercity Riverport. Here was a movie telling me that my conspicuous consumption would ultimately lead to the ruination of western civilization, and yet there I was listening to this message while eating a Taco Bell Combo #1 (best deal in Silvercity BTW) while sucking back an iced tea, served in a non-recyclable disposable cup the size of a small poodle. At my feet was a standard issue Taco Bell plastic bag (non-recycleable I presume) holding a slew of paper napkins, hard-shell taco wrappers and other disposable trash. Oh, and did I mention I drove over 20km to get to Silvercity Riverport because the closest theatre to my house didn't have THX certified sound and stadium seating? But I digress.

The movie itself was not outstanding. In fact, I was disappointed with Emmerich's most recent work because I remember how much more I enjoyed watching the earth get destroyed by aliens in Independence Day. Compared to the green deathray of the alien mothership, the icy waters of the Atlantic was very...bleh. Now, I'm not saying I don't appreciate the enormity of the scenario, but if a bunch of highschool nerds can survive this supposed disaster by hiding out in a public library how bad can it be? And another thing: I don't mean to sound harsh, but really how many times can I see NY get destroyed before I start to lose interest? There are so many other cities out there that can blow up and get flooded just as beautifully as NY. Just once I'd like to see a place like Moose Jaw get wiped clean by man-eating bees or a volcanic eruption. What's that you say? There are no volcanoes or man-eating bees near Moose Jaw? Newsflash genius: there are no aliens or 7-day global climate changes either! But I digress.

I'm not a geoweatheromics (I coined this one myself, BTW) scientist so I didn't get a lot of the "science" behind this movie. For example, which law of geoweatheronmics stipulates that the cheesiness of human dialog must increase as the temperature of the globe plummets? Here's a little gem from this movie (don't worry it's not going to spoil much):
guy: What are you doing?
girl: I'm using my body heat to warm you up

really? It's good to know that even as the world plunges into darkness, highschool kids are still willing to get it on for the continuation of mankind. Touching.

Anyways, here's my final verdict for Day After Tomorrow: avoid like the plague.

Your Favorite Jerk


At Thursday, June 10, 2004 12:05:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beats Siskel and Dogbert? Ebert and Ropeadope? Ebert and Dogbert? anyday of the week!

The real question is WHY OH WHY did you watch it? Didn't it look bad enough.... didn't the cheezy voice overs in the credit scare you away!


At Thursday, June 10, 2004 10:13:00 PM, Blogger Reformed Jerk said...

What can I say Ron? I love watching money burn on the silverscreen :-D

At Monday, June 14, 2004 12:53:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"served in a non-recyclable disposable cup the size of a small poodle. "

Have you actually ever seen a large poodle?



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