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Monday, August 15, 2005

Pimp my teef

Image hosted by Photobucket.comSo, I see these shoes at the Eaton Centre today. I kid you not. They have RIMS on them that spin when you walk. Do the hip hop crowd not understand the concept of parody? Honestly, this stuff is beyond gawdy; it's sick. But my entrepeneurial spirit is telling me there is money to be made here. I've come up with an idea I think I can pitch to MTV to tap the hip-hop market. If all goes well, I'll be ahippin' and ahoppin' to the bank with this one. You ready for this? Let me freak your mind!

Okay, here's my idea: a TV show called Pimp My Teef. If you've seen Pimp My Ride on MTV, you'll instantly recognize the formula for my show. In a nutshell, we take a semi-famous, washed up rapper like Xzibit, and have him host a show where someone with a set of really messed up teeth gets his pearly whites "pimped out" at a ghetto dental clinic (preferably one with a cool name like Doc Thug's Teefcrib or some such). A typical show will end like this:

Fifteen minutes of fame guy (FMOFG): Yo, get the *beep* out dawg!!!!! WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Xzibit: Heh Heeeeeehhhhhhh!
FMOFG: No *beep*in way! Sh*beep*t!!!!!
Xzibit: Hah Haaaaaahhhhhhh!
FMOFG: That's what I'm talkin bout yo! *spits out some blood*
Xzibit: Yo [insert name of FMOFG], when you came in here last week, yo teef were messed! They stank so bad yo mama wouldn't even talk wit you. And they was mo crooked than Bill Clinton! Heh heeeeehhhhhhhh!
FMOFG: It's true, it's true!
Xzibit: But now, we pimped it out! Check this out!
FMOFG: HELL NO!!!!!! Is that a Playstation in my bicuspids?!?!?!? Get the *beep* out!!!!!
Xzibit: That's not all man, check out these subwoofers in your molars!
FMOFG: Yo man, they so loud I get a concussion just listening to In da Club!
Xzibit: Heh heeeehhhhhhhhh! *claps* Aiight, yo gums were decayed behind repair, so we ripped them all out and put in this velvet with chrome supports!
FMOFG: Man, I got tears in my eyes man. I got tears! This is unreal! I love you man! The pain is unbearable...but it's worf it!!!!!
Xzibit: Aiight, that's it for this episode. Come back next time for another episode of Pimp My Teef!

Okay, so who knows someone who knows someone whose uncle knows a guy who knows someone at MTV? Hook me up. This is gold.

Your Favorite Jerk


At Tuesday, August 16, 2005 5:22:00 PM, Blogger Ames said...

Honestly... where do you get this stuff?? :P hahahahaha

At Monday, October 03, 2005 5:29:00 PM, Blogger divine_conspiracy said...

oh man, ROTFL


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